I’m here today because I am gay. And because… maybe I can make a difference. To help others have an easier and more hopeful time. Regardless, for me, I feel a personal obligation and a social responsibility. I also do it selﬁshly, because I am tired of hiding and I am tired of lying by omission. I suffered for years because I was scared to be out. My spirit suffered, my mental health suffered and my relationships suffered. And I’m standing here today, with all of you, on the other side of all that pain. I am young, yes, but what I have learned is that love, the beauty of it, the joy of it and yes, even the pain of it, is the most incredible gift to give and to receive as a human being. And we deserve to experience love fully, equally, without shame and without compromise.
Anonymous asked: Hi, I don't know if this has been asked before, but how do you feel about bisexual women and their reclamation of the dyke label or identifying as lesbian and/or with lesbian women? Thank you!
When bi women and lesbian women become preoccupied with in-fighting, straight people win. All women-loving women have a stake in the fight against homophobia and in a community of women-loving women.
As for the reclamation of “dyke,” you’ll notice that bi women have been featured before on dykesanddykery. It’s my opinion, as a lesbian, that the reclamation of this slur should be something each bi woman considers carefully for herself. Each bi woman’s situation will be different. My girlfriend is bi, but I’m the only one in our relationship who has ever been in a straight relationship (denial’s a hell of a drug!). Should she be barred from reclaiming that slur, when the people who would use it against us while we walked down the street would have no way of knowing she was also attracted to men? But a different bi woman may find herself falling in love with and committing the rest of her life to a man. She will certainly still experience issues relating to being a woman-loving woman, but will she feel comfortable reclaiming that slur? Maybe she’s very visibly non-heterosexual, even in a relationship with a man, and feels that it is still her right. Or maybe she feels that, with the small cushion passing as straight gives her, she would rather leave that particularly hurtful word to women who are more likely to hear it spit at them.
What I’m getting at here is that there is no one hard and fast rule, in my opinion, other than: be thoughtful and considerate when making that decision. (And don’t pull an Erika Moen and let your husband, if you have one, use that word, especially at a god damn pride parade.)